Experiencing Heaven and Hell

Now is the autumn of belief
when red leaves fall--
also orange and coppery yellow; 
when light is mellow
and wintry winds start to blow. 

It’s the perfect time for reflection,
for harvesting whatever you’ve known
and assessing what you truly regret 
when remembering failures 
and successes. 

Snow soon shall come. 
Mother bears and young, half asleep, 
head for hidden dens, 
frogs bury themselves in mud 
and birds, well fed, fly south.

Already we’re imagining their return.

Some of us think about death, 
the sick, the old 
who suspect they’ll not be here come Spring.
It isn’t fear, exactly, that pesters, 
but the constant nagging of uncertainty; 

not knowing either how or when,
so are reduced 
to lying there pondering questions, 
only half awake,
nonetheless, once again, remembering.   

Some memories make us glad.
Some we pass over, 
not anxious to again mull over again.

It’s a nightly game.

And, always, the outcome’s the same 
no matter how much we might wish 
to for all time to change them. 

We recall experiences of Hell 
(results, often, of our own behavior)
and sometimes memories of Heaven,
joyful actions taken 
and forgiveness graciously received.

These memories bring smiles in the dark,
happy waking dreams
that allow us to drift back to slumber,
forgetting death 
that how it may differ from sleep 
not for the better.