Eighty-One

Eighty-one and not knowing where I’m going,
I still need time 
to consider, to negotiate with others.

Neither all thoughts mine, 
nor knowing where any thoughts come from,
I wait in line
as though standing at a fair to buy tickets
without a dime. 

Life can easily become confusing,
when by love you want to be touched,
but have not always been

since you were but a small child,
having wet the bed,
so standing and shaking the crib… 
to receive a spanking.