Good Old Boys (As frequently portrayed on TV)

Overrated and uneducated,
first response to fuck.
The second, fight.
“Always Right” is their homespun motto.

They work because they have to,
would much prefer  
relaxing with TV and a keg of beer.
Or, better,
Kentucky bourbon.

Love motorcycles and trucks
which they doctor up
to make the maximum noise;
also with friends 
when matching belches and farts. 

What they most want is to be noticed.

Newscasts and newspapers exist, 
but, except for weather, 
prefer to rely on what they know, 
and will die before they change, 
knowing they are right. 

Value rumors over facts, so are quick to act 
if, in any way, they feel themselves threatened 
or. perhaps, demeaned. 
So, threatened now,
naturally reach for a gun.

 Think bullying women is fun, 
nor do they trust
wives or discarded lovers,  
not even mothers,
less, of course, they’re dead.

Sing mostly of fate and lovers 
having done them wrong, 
are happily sorry for themselves, 
ignore real fears, 
and wallow in feeling cheated  
like hogs in mud; 

 Still, of course, are pure,
having gone to church with their mothers
when they were young.
Are proudly believers in God!

That’s what makes them good!