Manhood

I was never drafted
and never had a student deferment.
It’s true, once my record was lost
and, when called up, 
was ordered not to come: 
the bus too full.

I never chose to enlist, so, felt ashamed 
when my friends talked of boot camp and war.
I was odd man out, 
I feared some
might think me a coward.

It was never said.
Instead, I was said to be lucky. 
Still, I’ve always felt
I missed a manhood experience,
so was less a man.

Professionally, I had to be tough
but, now, that I’ve become a poet, 
I have made clear
that for many I am less a man.